Someone please light a fire under my.....

I have been so unmotivated lately to get to the gym. I used to get mad at myself if I didn't go and lately I don't care. I don't know what is wrong with me. I was doing so well for such a long time. I had really though that it was habit not something that I needed to talk myself into doing.

I was at the gym tonight for the first time in 2 weeks. I wasn't excited to go but once I got there getting a good work out in felt great. Now if only come one would light a fire under my rear end and give me the motivation to get there without having to talk myself into going that would be great.

Progress....

I have not been the greatest with the diet and exercise lately but I still have reached a milestone being back in the 100's. I finally go around to taking pictures to show a comparison from where I was to now. I am glad that I took pictures pretty close to the beginning of this journey because even though I am currently down 42 pounds I still feel huge when I look in the mirror. I know that I  have body image issues so it is nice to actually see the difference in photos.

off the wagon

Ever since we went on our trip to Wisconsin I have been having a hard time getting back in to the swing of eating and exercising. Last week I worked overtime all week and got home too late to get to the gym. This week has also been a bust. I have eaten horribly some days and not gotten nearly enough exercise. I finally made it to the gym today and let me tell you I can tell that it has been a few weeks. My arms feel like jello and my time on the elliptical seemed harder then I remember, but I did it. Now to keep going.

I was doing so well now is not the time to lose focus.

Who would have though....

So far my weight loss journey is going well but it is hard to believe that Shawn actually had to talk me into joining the gym back at the beginning of this year. I am at a point right now where working out and eating right has become more than just habit it has become a way of life. Currently I have been going to they gym 2x a week and I actually want to go more. Who would have though, me wanting to go to the gym.

I am trying to work things out so that I can get to the gym two additional days during the week. It is going to take some planning because right now I go to the gym on the days my husband does not but I feel like this is the way to go to continue with the changes I have made in my life.

First goal met!

I am a little late posting this but as of Monday I hit my first weight loss goal. I am officially down 30 pounds and it feels great. That 30 pounds is definitely not at all missed and will not be welcomed back into my life. 40 more pounds to go to get to my goal. I know that I originally said I wanted to loose 50 pounds so you must be thinking, wait 30 + 40= 70 not 50, but I decided that I looked the best at my goal weight of 170. Ok so the last time I weighed that was in high school and I thought I was huge but that is where I wasn't to be again someday.

Cleaning out the closet

Tonight I decided to rid my closet of the clothes that no longer fit becasue they are now way too big. I also went through clothes that I had stored in hopes that they would once again fit someday when I got my act together an did something about my weight.

First I tried on some clothes that were way too big and put them in the "fat clothes" pile. Hailey was so cute she kept saying "mommy its too big".

I kind of feel bad becasue some of these items were only worn once but I am sure once I donate them someone will get good use out of them. My husband thinks that I should pack them away and keep them, just in case I need them again someday. I don't think I should keep them. I don't ever want to let myself get to a point where I would even need them again so why let them take up space in the already overcrowded attic?

Then I tried on the clothes I had packed away and it was great that so many of them fit! I had forgotten I even had most of them since it has been so long since I have seen most of them. It is like I got a completely new wardrobe for free! Unfortunately I had gotten rid of most of the pants but I have plenty of skirts, dress, and tops that didn't cost me a dime! I plan to save the big shopping spree for the day that these clothes are too big and I need a smaller size and hopefully that will be in the near future!

Shopping

I finally went shopping to buy some new pants. I have been wearing pants 2 sizes to big that I had to keep up with a belt and finally bought a few that fit. It was the first time in years that I have not had to buy clothes from a plus sized store like Lane Bryant. I did a little dance in the dressing room when I had to go and grab a smaller size then I though I would need. I really have the urge to send a letter that reads:

Dear Lane Bryant,
      I regret to inform you that you have lost a customer. I no longer need plus sized clothing and do not intend to step foot in your store to purchase clothing for my self ever again. I do than you for providing stylish clothing for larger woman but I hope to never again be that larger woman!

Temptation

This year for Mother's Day my husband bought me flowers and  king size 3 Musketeers bar. Umm has he somehow missed that for the last several months I have been avoiding candy and other junk like the plague? When I asked him why he bought it for me he replied " well I know they are your favorite". While it was thoughtful and yes they are my favorite candy bars it is definitely something I need to not eat. Especially a king sized one.

It is sitting on the counter next to the flowers tempting me every day. So far I have avoided it and the " eat me" that I hear every time I walk by has not prevailed. I suppose I will eventually eat some of it since I can't deprive myself of sweets forever and possibly share it with my two year old ( like she really needs it either). Until then I need to find a place to stash it to avoid it calling my name.

Ten Weeks Down

It has been 10 weeks since I started a journey to loose 50 lbs. I am happy to say that as of this morning I am officially down 20 lbs and that is with a week of vacation thrown in there so I really can not complain. This is the first time in my life that I have started a weight loss plan and stuck with it for any length of time. I don't really see a difference in my body but I have gotten several compliments so that is even more motivation to keep plugging along.

Unfortunately I did not take a photo 10 weeks ago so I do not have a starting point to compare to so this will have to do.

(Please excuse the tooth paste on the mirror, the husband is a slob!)

Changing Me

I have struggled with my weight for most of my adult life. I have never been small. In high school I always felt huge compared to all of the other girls even though I was a two sport athlete an in relatively good shape. Then I went to school and gained the famed freshmen fifteen and though I was huge. My sophomore year I started playing Lacrosse and got back in shape.

Fast forward to now. I have had two children in two years and do not like the reflection I see when I look in the mirror. For quite some time I complained about how large I was but never did anything about it. The weight was just going to magically come off right? Wishful thinking! In February my husband convinced me to join a gym with him. I had not set even a toe in the gym in almost 5 years. It took some convincing but I agreed.

Getting back into the gym was just the first step. I realized that that alone would not be enough to achieve the goal I had set for myself which was to loose 55 ( yes you read that correctly) pounds. I was also going to have to change the way I ate. That task is almost harder then committing to get back  in the gym. I started using myfitnesspal.com to track everything I ate. Let me tell you what an eyeopener that was. I really did not realize how bad we were eating.

To keep myself motivated I took some before pictures and have the hanging on the bathroom mirror so I have to see them every morning while I am getting ready for work. Eventually I will be able to compare them to the results to see just how far I have come. ( For the record I cannot believe I am posting these pictures it is extremely embarrassing but here they are for all to see)

It is still definitely a work in progress but  I am down 12 lbs and have been sticking to going to the gym and eating healthy so hopefully I will get back to where I want to be someday. I think that it is definitely going to be a long journey but one well worth taking.